Tourniquet
by RowenDuo
Summary: PG13 only because the mention of blood and death. Takes place right after the war. Songfic Kenshin doesn't wish to go on. Song is Evanescence's Tourniquet. Please R&R! Enjoy! ^_~


Disclaimer: Check bio in author section  
  
A/N: this a song fic that happens right at the end of the Revolution. Enjoy! The music is Evanescence's Tourniquet.  
  
****  
  
I tried to kill the pain but only brought more  
  
So much more  
  
The war was over here in Kyoto. The Battosai was no longer needed anymore. He had taken so much life only to protect innocents from the pain of the corrupt government. In the end he, the Battosai, only had brought more and more pain to innocent families who lost husbands, fathers, and brothers in this terrible war.  
  
I lay dying and I'm pouring  
  
Crimson regret and betrayal  
  
I have sustained so many wounds over the years. I just want it to end. The blood pours from the wound on my right shoulder. I watch as it flows in rivulets down my arm. I do not bind the wound hoping only to die from blood lost.  
  
I'm dying.  
  
My vision blurs as I lose more blood.  
  
.Praying.  
  
I pray for the end to come.  
  
.Bleeding.  
  
The blood keeps flowing.  
  
.and SCREAMING.  
  
My soul is screaming for all those people I killed.  
  
Am I to lost to be saved.  
  
Is my soul to far gone that when I die I shall go to hell?  
  
.Am I to lost?  
  
Yes, my mind says, but my heart says no.  
  
My God, my tourniquet  
  
Return to me salvation  
My God, my tourniquet  
Return to me salvation  
  
My soul needs redemption and forgiveness for all the lives I took. Is seppuku (1) the only way?  
  
Do you remember me  
Lost for so long  
For so long  
  
I wonder does Tomoe still remember me wherever she is in the past life. It's been so long since I held her in my arms. Does she still love me or hate me?  
  
Will you be on the other side  
  
Or will you forget me?  
  
Will you be there waiting for me when I die? Or will I just be another guy, no different than the other admirers that you have?  
  
I'm dying.  
  
My vision blurs as I lose more blood.  
  
.Praying.  
  
I pray for the end to come.  
  
.Bleeding.  
  
The blood keeps flowing.  
  
.and SCREAMING.  
  
My soul is screaming for all those people I killed.  
  
Am I to lost to be saved.  
  
Is my soul to far gone that when I die I shall go to hell?  
  
.Am I to lost?  
  
Yes, my mind says, but my heart says no.  
  
My God, my tourniquet  
  
Return to me salvation  
My God, my tourniquet  
Return to me salvation  
  
My soul needs redemption and forgiveness for all the lives I took. Is seppuku the only way?  
  
My God, my tourniquet  
  
Return to me salvation  
My God, my tourniquet  
Return to me salvation  
  
I have no God to turn to anymore for he has forsaken me long ago. I pray despite that. I pray, "God give me peace, eternal rest. I can't go on any more not with this on my conscience. My hands are stained red with blood just take my life now."  
  
I want to die!!!  
  
I WANT TO DIE!!!  
  
My wounds cry for the grave!  
  
My body is aching all over now from the loss of blood. My vision is almost black. All my body wants is the pain to end and never return.  
  
My soul cries for deliverance!  
  
I just want it to all end. I draw my sword ready to commit seppuku. After all, there is no need for a sword like mine in this world anymore. Is this the right thing though? Yes this is the only way to repent for all the lives I took.  
  
Will I be denied?  
  
I am poised ready to make the final blow that will end this life of misery and pain. This is the only way.  
  
Christ.  
  
It all will end soon.  
  
.Tourniquet.  
  
My sword is the only way to heal all the wounds of my soul and the souls of others.  
  
.My suicide.  
  
As I brought the blade down, my courage left me. I struck my side barely making a mark. There was no doubt I would live through that. Am I coward? No I would live. Committing seppuku would not bring back all the lives I stole. The only true penance for my actions was to live and become a wanderer never using my sword to kill again.  
  
My soul salvation  
  
My soul salvation  
My soul salvation  
  
Goodbye Battosai forever. I may not have died physically but you the manslayer are dead. I am now only a rurouni, a wanderer. This is the path I must walk and you can not join me. Goodbye forever legendary Battosai.  
  
A/N: (1) seppuku is a Japanese ritual that is essentially suicide. Hope you enjoyed this! This was my first song fic ever so be nice! Please Review, I even accept flames just give me the reason you feel the way you do! 


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